no one needs to know.

i am not good at keeping secrets
i promise i will never tell
never share information
but i do
i can't keep things like that in
i don't like being elusive

this is different
possibly because i'm embarassed
possibly because i'm ashamed
maybe i'm even a little disgusted in myself
but who do i tell?
even if i wanted to
i couldn't
so thanks for that

you succeeded in making me feel
simultaneously
cheap
dirty
skanky
worthless
pitiful
and
lost

yeah
maybe no one needs to know
but i need to tell someone

i'm so completely lost and helpless
and i feel myself losing control again
i lost the reigns on my own life